The last time I started a blog was the last time I made a big move: back from college to NYC. I think I wanted to make sure I kept writing, and to have something to show potential employers like, look I got this blogspot so …
This time, I feel more satisfied with even less direction than I had when graduating college. It was a scary feeling then (what if no one hires me? what if I don’t find a boyfriend? what if I change my mind about what I want to do?), but it’s a freeing feeling now.
Robbie and I left New York on Tuesday morning and by the afternoon, we had a temporary apartment in Mexico City with two security guards, Jose and Jesus, who switch off 24-hour shifts. We are residents of Polanco, the poshest neighborhood in D.F. (that’s Distrito Federal, a.k.a. Mexico City), until November 23, when hopefully we’ll have somewhere to settle. That’s my job, for the time being: settling in, finding an apartment, improving my Spanish. It feels healthy to have these short-term projects, with time in between to listen to what I want and need.
I took a yoga class today – I was the only student in the Kundalini session, so the instructor kindly agreed to teach in English – and she said, “Just contemplate yourself. Don’t try to follow history.” I’m aiming to put condescension and editorializing aside – maybe a blog is the right medium or maybe it’s a relic akin to those tattoo chokers that are making a comeback because what goes out must come back in, but it feels like this opportunity to contemplate myself is something I’ll want to return to, to remember how to do it.